Feelings of Inadequacy and Productivity Suffers

We all get them. Those days that you just feel like you aren't measuring up. Days when you do those things you always strive not to do. Then, you just want to kick yourself and can't seem to be as productive as you should - or is it all an imagination.

I don't know why I wanted to write about this today; maybe just to let us all know we suffer from being human. It all started with the weekend gone awry. or did the weekend really go awry? In an effort to save me a trip out to the store, someone offered to bring groceries for the weekend. I figured out what I needed, they purchased them, then left some of them an hour away. In the meantime, I got up Saturday morning to find there were some things missing from the list I gave, since I had to do it in bit of a rush during other business. So, I went to the store. Then, they got here and found they had forgotten some things, and they went to the store. Of course, first thing the stray dog showed up. Then, the power went out when we should have been cooking Easter dinner, and we finally found out it wasn't coming on until we should be eating Easter dinner, so we packed up all the groceries and headed back to Tulsa. You noticed I said "all" the groceries, right?

Ah, so after a busy day yesterday of chasing leads to get rid of a stray, I am now devising a new grocery list, planning a trip to Tulsa, and going to be doing something other than I what I should be doing today - which is laundry. In the busyness of yesterday, I also didn't have the energy to deal with the wood fire that keeps us warm and heats our hot water. Oddly, that is where the inadequacy comes in. I was fine with the 21st Century catching me, until the kids complained how cold they were and I finally walked to the thermostat on the wall, buried under its cobwebs and dust, and pushed the little lever to "heat." Eeeeeewwwww. . .it stunk from inactivity. But, heat was coming out, and the kids would be happy, and I could focus on whatever it was by now I wasn't able to focus on.

So, after a winter of great diligence, I actually used the electric heat after the first day of spring, after Easter even. Rats. Well, I guess this won't be the year we finally make it through the whole season without falling back on the comforts of knobs and buttons that require little work. So, today, it is supposed to be warmer. The house is 62 right now, and not a complaint from the kids. No one has felt it necessary to throw on their jacket to stay inside. Yesterday it was 66, and breezy outside. Somehow that always makes the house seem colder. Today, the sun in shining. I'll whip out a couple loads of laundry; Ross will hang them for me, and I will head to Tulsa to get some groceries - that would have been here already if the power hadn't gone out. Funny, it is turning on the heat that made me feel inadequate. I'm sure normal people don't suffer from feelings of inadequacy for having to turn the heat on.

Tomorrow, I promise to be more productive. I shall put this all behind me. Today, I run like I'm part of the rat race and long for quieter days. Oh, yeah, have I told you how much I hate shopping?

Have a blessed Tuesday and please pray for my Wednesday. I am. Today's theme: Salvage Tomorrow!!